Why in the hell am i still up? I tried to sleep about 3 hours ago. It must be the 3 hour nap this afternoon and tea and mountain dew. I had to kick the cat out of my room because she was meowing loudly. I did a search for a very hot guy I used to work for and finally found him on facebook. So I sent a friend request. I got an email that says my ex looked at my dating profile. He has done that a couple times since dissappearing out of my life one Sunday morning and we had a great time together. He didn’t return any texts or calls and for about 3 weeks so on my birthday I decided to go see if had a facebook page because he told me did not. He had one and it had a relationship status with some bitch who was not me. Ten days after he left my bed he went facebook official with someone else. It hurt so bad and my fucking birthday I about lost my mind. I wanted to go to his work and confront his ass but I am too mature to do that shit. Instead I got very depressed and lived in my pajamas for days and almost missed enough work to get fired. I finally deleted the over 200 texts between us in a 3 month period today and as I read them I hate myself for being so needy and buying his bullshit about working all the time. He works retail and they close at 9 most days. He never took me to his place and was trying to hide me from family. So why did I message him tonight after I saw he looked at my profile and that he has been single for a few weeks, who knows. I think the worst part was no closure and after spending half a weekend together and then him acting like a fucking ghost it was and still is fucked up thing to do. I am talking to a new guy Charmimg we’re friends for now and seeing another one Valient when he’s free, military works him very hard. It’s almost 4 am, so going to try to fall asleep again.