Today

Standard

I signed up for a read-a thon today and only 7 pages. Damn. Well I had to the grocery store and instead of getting little hand basket I got a cart and filled that sucker up good. I had not been real grocery shopping awhile and I needed food and drink and toilet paper. I got a bunch of cans of stuff and little baby sodas. One good thing about feeling crappy and sick lately is I have lost 5 pounds and my size 12 jeans are now trying to fall off my ass. Luckily I have some 10s just in case and like to lose another five but who knows. I need the go to my free gym at work but after 8 hours there I usually just want to run from the building and peel out of the parking lot. But the gym bag with clean clothes nice new balance sneakers water bottle and ipod with headphones are all in there ready to go.  When I actually do work I feel better but making myself do it is a challenge and I usually be good going like 3 times a week for about 3 weeks and then I give it up again. I could have killed my cat today because she peed on the couch again not just on one cushion but right in the middle of both. I shoved one cushion in the washing machine and then dryer and it got totally fucked up. So I threw it away. I cleaned the second one with a lysol wipes. And now the couch is going to feel really strange because instead of two cushions it has one and then big throw pillows on the other side. Damn fucking cat. A second cat has been throwing up and can’t take a crap and I don’t have the money or even enough on my credit card to take her to the vet. I haven’t had a full paycheck in like over 2 months because I keep getting sick. I am trying to keep my mood up which Charming helps with definitely but some days and especially nights its hard when my mind won’t shut off and thinks of way too much shit and goes to dark places. I have been in two actual cat fights in the last few days. My cat that pisses on the furniture put 6 holes in my left foot last night. The usual attack cat tried to attack my littlest furbaby and I got in the middle of it and got my arm tore up. I went to go see
Charming and get some steak and baked potato for dinner. He was running all over the place and got cussed out by some fat fucker because the restaurant only has one person at night who can run the register and that is Charming. So he has tables all the place the register and making fucking tea. I took him a candied apple and caramel apple my roommate made last night because when we texting last night he said he wanted some apples. We were texting until a little after 1 am and then I got tired so we said goodnight. I really want to pick up after work tonight because I am tired of hanging by myself and we can talk to other with no awkward pauses and
Valient is definitely the strong silent type man of few words. And hardly talking and just making out and having sex isn’t really working for me anymore. I’ve been doing that for too many fucking years.

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