It’s been a while


I can’t believe I have not posted anything since october 17th. The days seem to run into each other and are a big blur. My life consists of work which really sucks sometimes especially when they send half of my team to training and shorten our hour lunch to 30 minutes. Well there went my favorite lunch spot where I got good food instead of greasy burgers and fries. I tried to have wendys on the first day of my short lunch and between the traffic on the road and then waiting in the drive thru lane I got back to the parking lot at work with five minutes to eat as I walk through the parking lot and back to my desk. Yeah I can’t eat a chicken club and fries in five minutes while walking and having to open doors. Anybody heard of heartburn. And my lunch is an hour later than it used to be. I have a sensitive stomach and throwing it off schedule is asking for trouble. Oh and they keep cancelling our time off the phone so the inquiries are piling up and getting older. So people call back and are kind of pissed when their issues haven’t been worked on or much less resolved.  So after work I should be going to the gym but I say fuck it and go see Charming. He is still the quickest and best way to put a smile on my face and get rid of my shitty stressed out mood. There was one day last week I got to spend some time with him and I was so happy I almost skipped down the hallway at work. Then one of my friends tried to put a damper on my happiness by trying to burst my bubble by saying he just sees me as a friend and nothing more and I need to be careful because I am falling for him. I have never liked when people try to tell me how to live my life and especially my love life. Its make me very mad. First of all you don’t know everything that has happened. Every word and look and touch and flirtation. And if someone is your friend you are supposed to want them to be happy not say negative things that shit on their happiness. I try to stay positive and its hard sometimes with my history of depression and almost suicide attempts and when I find someone that makes me sing happy songs to myself and the urge to skip like a little kid I am holding on the feeling as long as I can. I met him about two months ago and he is still dealing with a bitch of an ex that is holding his stuff hostage. I like him a lot and eveytime we talk and hug it makes me joyful I feel like I could burst. And yes I am still dying to kiss him but like I said earlier I am not trying to fuck this up. Health wise I feel better except a sore throat which I may have caught from Charming all though I am not sure how I did from two hugs but they were very close hugs. Oh well. Also big news I am thinking about doing NANO in 3 days but you haveal to type it and unfortunately my brain flows freer and faster writing by hand than typing. So I might be an unofficial NANO participant and just see how much I can get done and count my own damn words. We shall see. I will try to post more often. I would like to because it keeps a record of Charming.

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