my phone is pissing me off. i just typed a few sentences and the phone quit working. i have a giant sinus infection that was only found when i had a ct scan of my head done on wednesday. 5 fucking hours in the er and it turns out the pain i have had for a very long time is due to this huge sinus infection. My head hurts so bad and for so long i thought it might be something horrible and deadly like a brain tumor, my grandmother i never got to meet died from cancer, a brain tumor. So thank God it was not a tumor but i want to smack my doctors for not finding this. I’ve been complaining of a terrible pain behind my eye for a year. They throw pain pills at it, vicodin no longer does a damn thing for me. I took one pill, generic for Lortab which i never heard of and didn’t do shit so i too a second one and feel totally fucked up.That damn medicine from last night has me feeling hungover today. What fun and of course the pain is back!
Hey readers sorry I haven’t posted anything for a few days. I have been feeling like shit because I have a giant sinus infection occupying most of my head. I only found this out by spending 5 hours in the er on Wednesday and insisting I have a ct scan of my head because the constant pain behind my left eye was scaring the hell out of me. I am currently taking an antibiotic, mucinez d which is mucinez combined with sudafed and a pain pill that is classified as a narcotic. I just two of those and feel very drunk. I do not hardly drink alcohol and I feel like I drank 151 vodka which I have not done probably 6 or 7 years. I walk all messed up and when I close my eyes the room is spinning which makes me nauseous. I just tried to persuade a 21 guy to come over but his car was stolen so he can not drive and if he said he wanted to come over my dumbass self was going to attempt to drive. The hormones are trying to take control again. Oh no. He is very cute and we enjoy talking to each other but he is fresh off a break up and 11 years younger than me. 10 years younger I have done and tried to date which was fucking stupid on my part. I like him and he’s easy to talk to about pretty much anything which i had a guy friend like that but we were more than friends and had sex on and off for 10 years and i was very attached to him. I think i was in love with him and we actually dated officially for about 18 months. We had more sex when we weren’t dating. He said he loved me but wasn’t in love with me. What a crock of shit. No he preferred to fall for alcoholic trashy psycho bitches. After his latest one that he flaunted in my face and that dumped him twice and he acted heart broken i had enough and told him i was fucking done. He spent the money he owed me for bills to get drunk after the bitch dumped him again and they were back together the next damn day. He got two duis in less than 4 months and got locked up. Since he didn’t pay his rent and hadn’t been paying his share for months, i packed up his shit and got a new roommate. I didn’t throw his stuff away i put it in storage. He was locked up for about a month and half, got out and called me. I didn’t answer it, he texted me said get was out. I told him that i had a new roommate for a month and his stuff was in storage. He expected me to just wait around for who knows how long and get into more debt and keep his room for him. Fuck that, besides owing me a lot of money and repeatly breaking my heart over the years, i had to get him of my life before it was ruined or ended by me because of all the pain i went through and would have continued to go through thanks to him and only caring about himself. So he texted me that he fucked up his life and lost a nice place to live. I didn’t even respond to that because he did and he knew it. I have not spoken a word to him in weeks because i know he will try to make me feel bad and sorry for him and try to crash on my couch forever. I have been trying to save him and love him since we were 23 . I’m 33 and he will be by the end of the year and he needs to grow up and take care of himself instead of living off of other people like a damn parasite. I do miss the good parts of him, he is an awesome cook and best sex I’ve ever and i can totally be myself with him and we have fun hanging out talking and watching wrestling and gossip girl. But he completely forgets about me when some trashy bitch comes along and he drinks way too much, quits good jobs and hardly ever pays bills on time and spends his money on alcohol, cigarettes and pot. I work my ass off at a very stressful job because i have obligations , a mortgage, condo fee, car insurance, credit cards, doctor bills, electric bill, gas, groceries, my pets and yeah i like to shop. I can’t tell the people and places i owe money to oh i don’t have it right now, I’ll pay you later.
So yes cutting off contact after 10 years seems kind of cold and it’snot easy for me but i have to take care of me. I am better off without him and his excuses and drama. So i have kind of replaced him with someone who even has the same name but without all the crap and drama.This would be Charming. So i need to tell the hormones to chill so i literally don’t fuck this up.
Hey loyal followers I am going try to not to gross you out too bad. Since Saturday morning I having dealing with something that showed up out of nowhere and kept getting bigger and more painful by the day. Monday I decided to the dermatologist to see what the hell it is and how to get of rid of it. I seemed like a giant pimple and it was on my ass. On and left side and in the crack so it hurts like hell to down. And although I was grateful the dermatologist pa could see me on a Monday I had to seat and wait way to long and actually started crying in the waiting room a little bit. I stopped because the place was packed. Well the woman didn’t do much, gave a steroid injection to calm it down some, gave me free samples of an antibiotic, told me to soak in very hot water to get it to open up and had to some office brand benoyl peroxide wash for 13.00. I went home and took the medicine which is a rather large rectangle, yeah that was easy to shallow. I went back home put on some looser pants and tried not to sit. I can lay on my bed and watch movies as long as I keep the the left of my butt in the air. I did soak that night in water so hot I looked and felt like a lobster in a pot. I got up the next morning, woke up by my furry alarm o’clock before 7. I went back to bed and woke up late. I went to work in some dark jeans. When i got there, i was already almost 10 minutes late which makes me flustered and anxious. I sat down a soft pillow I have at my desk, still very painful to sit and no way to prop half of my butt up in my desk chair. My computer wanted to act up, i had to reboot twice and then couldn’t get on any of several systems i need to my damn job. I tried to call the help desk and they had a very long wait time. I hung on for a while and then ate some crackers so i could take some medicine. It was about 40 minutes after i should of been up abduction running and said to myself screw this i am going to ladies room and hung up the phone where i just listening to the same lame recording. We have toilet seat covers that not everbody uses and should instead of peeing all over the place. I got up and saw that the place night before soak had worked some, because the big gross bump has opened up and made a gross mess. I talked to a manager real quick and quickly drove to my regular doctor and again had to seat in the waiting room. My doctor and two nurses looked at the mess, and trying to squeezing more stuff out and then had to cut more out because it spreading out and infecting more area. After they cleaned me up and dressed it , gave me 800 mg Motrin i went to the pharmacy, dropped it off and went to Target got one pair of men’s sweatpants and one pair of women’s . Men’s sweatpants are cheaper but women’s are cuter . I did eat and take a Motrin, took a long nap. I decided to go to eat to my favorite restaurant and go see my new friend and favorite server Charming. So i had to get out of my sweatpants and out on some real pants. I had a couple beyond sucky days and hanging out talking to him makes me smile. So loose jeans, sexy red tank top and off i go. I did try to sit with half my butt in the air, didn’t work too well but i did eat some great food and talking with him is always a joy. So after i had dinner, desert and two sodas i left because i didn’t want to get him in trouble for sitting with me instead of working. Back home i go to soak, put on my other pair of sweatpants on and lay back down. I slept well until the cute little furry alarm clock Baby decided at 6:52, she was ready for breakfast. Went back to bed for awhile tried sitting in a chair,owwww, not happening and my whole hurts, feel like total crap still. I called into work. I eat some breakfast so i could take my medicine. Soaked again. Talked to a friend on the phone for awhile. About 11am, the Motrin kicked in and i didn’t wake up until a little after five pm. The Motrin and the infection caused really weird dreams. My next few days consisted of the same thing, medicine, sleeping, eating a lit bit , and trying to work on my blog. But i was just texting back and forth with Charming until Friday night when i went back for dinner, dessert to go, 3 glasses of sweet tea and of course his wonderful company.