Charming

I’ve seen Charming almost every day between work, friend’s house and my house. Yes i finally got to bring him home with me. It was Monday night, he wasn’t working so i picked him up from his apartment, we had a little interstate trouble and then laid on my bed and watched Project X. We were cuddled up together and when were getting ready to leave my house, we were hugging and i stepped back and looked into his pretty green eyes and kissed him. He kissed me back for a minutes, we had to stop so he didn’t get too worked up. Between the car ride and when i dropped off at our friend’s house, we were together for like 3 hours. We had a late lunch together Sunday afternoon and had a good time talking . Our hugs have included kisses on the cheek for about a week or so. We hung out some last Wednesday and Thursday night. We also went to a party Saturday night but some sucky shit went down Thursday night and Saturday. But we’re good now and still texting up a storm. I didn’t see him last Friday but i have Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday. We just texted Friday because i missed him at work. I saw him Saturday night at work, he had a very rough Friday night, got belligerent drunk and got his ass whupped by one of our friends , he doesn’t remember anything after he started drinking a bottle of southern comfort. Our mutual friend texted me about this when i asked how the party was, so i had to go see how beat him up he is. I walked into the restaurant last night and oh my God, his face and neck are bruised and terribly scratched, his nose was broken, missing a chunk under his chin and dried blood on the back head where it was slammed into asphalt. He gave a hug and i got a little bit of blood on my shirt probably from his chin. My best friend whose husband is an Army medic came to the restaurant after it closed and reset his nose. I took Charming home with me to watch Contraband and to lay down. With all various pain issues i had have this year i have a shit load of pain pills, so i hooked him up. Turned off the lights and laid next to him. As much as i wanted to he was too hurt to make a move on him. I really wanted him to spend the night but i had to drop him at our friend’s house at like 1:30 am. I should have drugged him up more so he fell asleep. So now i have a Charming scented pillow, the scent is Old Spice Swagger. When i dropped him off we hugged and had a quick kiss and he asked if he’d see me tomorrow (which is today ) i told him maybe. Well i saw him for dinner Sunday night, got to talk some and i got my goodbye hug. We texted some after that and texted on Monday and i saw him for dinner Monday night, i got a hug hello and two goodbye hugs and we talked some between the hugs. We texted on Tuesday but i didn’t go see him because i felt like crap and so nauseated i could barely eat. I saw him twice on Wednesday, got to talk some and got like 3 hugs. He got a hair cut and is looking damn sexy, not that i don’t find him sexy with his hair a little fuzzy.

Halloween

Charming and i got drunk and made out twice. In between the making out he told we couldn’t have sex that night because he was too drunk. The first time was in the kitchen what started out as a long lingering hug turned into me licking both sides of his neck and then i looked into his gorgeous green eyes and our lips met. It felt so good i didn’t want it to ever end but we were standing in the kitchen at a friend’s house so it did when her roommate came around the corner. About 2:25 am i had sort of sobered up enough to drive the short distance back to house. Charming asked if i wanted him to walk me to my car. Since it was the middle of the night and i wanted to kiss him some more, i said “yes please”. Well we got out of the front door and i was kind of stumbling down the walkway so he had to had to hold on to me. I would have stayed longer but i did have to be at work at 9am. So we get to my car, i don’t even open my door, we’re hugging goodbye which lead to kissing, hotter kissing than the kitchen because involved him grabbing my ass and breasts that were about to pop out of my shirt. I have not wanted someone soo bad in a long ass time. So one last kiss goodnight and i told him I’d text him when i got home. He said yes”you better”. I drove home pretty slow hoping for no cops, it’s less than 3 minutes from my place. I got in the door and to my room at 2:30 and texted him i was home and goodnight with a kissy smiley face. He texted me goodnight with an exclaimaction point.
Every time i think about those hot moments i get all warm and tingly. He is really good kisser and i was right about that full bottom lip, very soft and kissable and nice to suck and nibble on.

I had one shot of 93% dark rum that Charming who was dressed up as a sexy pirate brought. I had brought the beer i got him like a month ago because i was tired of seeing it in my fridge. I also drank my can of paradise punch.

Well hurricane sandy did do much near my city except lots of rain and some crazy whistling wind. I still need to put the balcony furniture back. I woke up with a very bad sore throat that seems to come and go since last Monday. With a job that requires talking for about 7 hours a day which would hurt and possibly cause me to lose to my voice I decided to stay home. I went to the doctor this morning and it is not strep or thrush. Basically it hurts and I can’t seem to cough the phlem up. Doctor told me to take clartin or allegra to get rid of the histamine that it making my throat itchy. Well I have benadryl at home and it says it will help with a itchy throat so I took that. It did not tell me it was gonna knock me out. I think I fell asleep about 11 and didn’t wake up until 2:30. I ate a mcdonalds bacon,egg  and cheese biscuit and a hot mocha for breakfast after I left the doctor. I had a text from Charming from after midnight that I didn’t see until this morning. I figured i’d go see him and get early dinner before they got busy plus I slept through lunch. It is cold and rainy today so no point in doing much to my hair. Jeans, tank  and my CM  PUNK zipped hoodie and of course my converse. Well I get there and he is outside having a smoke so we talked a little bit until he finished and then we went inside. I talked to his manager and one of his good friends and was seated. I hadn’t really decided what I wanted to eat yet so I got a sweet tea and let Charming take care of another table while I decided. The plus was so not busy I had the attention of Charming, his manager and another server.I had some pictures to show them and we talked about going to chill at a bar this weekend since my friend Zoey is going to be kid free. So I decided on my food and of course had dessert and got to talk to all my restaurant buddies. Well the place picked up some after about an hour or so I paid my check and Charming appeared out of nowhere and gave me my goodbye hug and said see you soon. So I have a full tummy and good mood. I came home and feed my fur babies. And we watched the last two episodes of season 2 of true blood. I took and shower and washed my hair. I need to touch up a couple finger nails. My throat still hurts and been able to cough up some of the stuff but not all. I am hoping that sudafed will help because I think its a post nasal drip. Yeah snot in my throat . Yuck.

It’s been a while

I can’t believe I have not posted anything since october 17th. The days seem to run into each other and are a big blur. My life consists of work which really sucks sometimes especially when they send half of my team to training and shorten our hour lunch to 30 minutes. Well there went my favorite lunch spot where I got good food instead of greasy burgers and fries. I tried to have wendys on the first day of my short lunch and between the traffic on the road and then waiting in the drive thru lane I got back to the parking lot at work with five minutes to eat as I walk through the parking lot and back to my desk. Yeah I can’t eat a chicken club and fries in five minutes while walking and having to open doors. Anybody heard of heartburn. And my lunch is an hour later than it used to be. I have a sensitive stomach and throwing it off schedule is asking for trouble. Oh and they keep cancelling our time off the phone so the inquiries are piling up and getting older. So people call back and are kind of pissed when their issues haven’t been worked on or much less resolved.  So after work I should be going to the gym but I say fuck it and go see Charming. He is still the quickest and best way to put a smile on my face and get rid of my shitty stressed out mood. There was one day last week I got to spend some time with him and I was so happy I almost skipped down the hallway at work. Then one of my friends tried to put a damper on my happiness by trying to burst my bubble by saying he just sees me as a friend and nothing more and I need to be careful because I am falling for him. I have never liked when people try to tell me how to live my life and especially my love life. Its make me very mad. First of all you don’t know everything that has happened. Every word and look and touch and flirtation. And if someone is your friend you are supposed to want them to be happy not say negative things that shit on their happiness. I try to stay positive and its hard sometimes with my history of depression and almost suicide attempts and when I find someone that makes me sing happy songs to myself and the urge to skip like a little kid I am holding on the feeling as long as I can. I met him about two months ago and he is still dealing with a bitch of an ex that is holding his stuff hostage. I like him a lot and eveytime we talk and hug it makes me joyful I feel like I could burst. And yes I am still dying to kiss him but like I said earlier I am not trying to fuck this up. Health wise I feel better except a sore throat which I may have caught from Charming all though I am not sure how I did from two hugs but they were very close hugs. Oh well. Also big news I am thinking about doing NANO in 3 days but you haveal to type it and unfortunately my brain flows freer and faster writing by hand than typing. So I might be an unofficial NANO participant and just see how much I can get done and count my own damn words. We shall see. I will try to post more often. I would like to because it keeps a record of Charming.

blueandred blackandgrey

11. Write a list of ways to nurture your writing.

A short list:

1. Write.
2. Think about writing.
3. Think about what you have to say.
4. Think about stories you may want to tell.
5. Write, without regard for the outcome.
6. Write, and plan for the outcome.
7. Write your thoughts.
8. Write about things you don’t think about.
9. Write about desires.
10. Write about sins.
11. Write for the hell of it.
12. Write when you don’t feel like writing.
13. Write, even when you feel you have nothing to say. Force yourself to be conscious.

McR

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Saw Charming Monday and Wednesday night. Monday took him cz studs which he put in right away and really liked and thanked  me for and had dessert . I went home and he called me so i had to go back after closing and get my credit card, gave him two beers and i got my fourth hug, he smelled really good not like food. Wednesday night was breakfast for dinner. I had to make a couple stops before I could go see him including going home to change my jeans and get him more candied apples. Well I am seated and he comes over I asked him for some chocolate milk he gets that and I get my first plate. He sits down across me in the booth and he’s making grumbling noises so I ask him what’s wrong and he says that there is lady customer being a total bitch to everybody. There pretty slow which is not good for tips but its good for me because he sits down with me and we can talk. I had been really hungry from the damn Prednisone in my system I took my last one on Monday but apparently it hangs out for awhile. So I ate four plates of food and two glasses of chocolate milk. My second one was free. There are no free refills on chocolate milk but since I treat him so good he got me another glass and didn’t charge me for it. Well I had been having a tummy issue where I hadn’t taken a crap in days probably the damn medicine but as soon as I finished my second glass of milk I had to go. I just made it the bathroom when not only did I get to go poop but a wave of nausea hit me too and I started sweating like crazy. When I felt it was safe to leave the bathroom I had to ask for a cup of ice water. Charming was in the kitchen doing something so I paid my bill and snuck back to the kitchen area got his attention and almost gave him two fives instead of one which would have been a 100% tip. I still felt of sick so I sat in the parking lot for a couple minutes with the windows down and drinking my ice water. I got home and laid down. We texted a little bit that night.

Today

I signed up for a read-a thon today and only 7 pages. Damn. Well I had to the grocery store and instead of getting little hand basket I got a cart and filled that sucker up good. I had not been real grocery shopping awhile and I needed food and drink and toilet paper. I got a bunch of cans of stuff and little baby sodas. One good thing about feeling crappy and sick lately is I have lost 5 pounds and my size 12 jeans are now trying to fall off my ass. Luckily I have some 10s just in case and like to lose another five but who knows. I need the go to my free gym at work but after 8 hours there I usually just want to run from the building and peel out of the parking lot. But the gym bag with clean clothes nice new balance sneakers water bottle and ipod with headphones are all in there ready to go.  When I actually do work I feel better but making myself do it is a challenge and I usually be good going like 3 times a week for about 3 weeks and then I give it up again. I could have killed my cat today because she peed on the couch again not just on one cushion but right in the middle of both. I shoved one cushion in the washing machine and then dryer and it got totally fucked up. So I threw it away. I cleaned the second one with a lysol wipes. And now the couch is going to feel really strange because instead of two cushions it has one and then big throw pillows on the other side. Damn fucking cat. A second cat has been throwing up and can’t take a crap and I don’t have the money or even enough on my credit card to take her to the vet. I haven’t had a full paycheck in like over 2 months because I keep getting sick. I am trying to keep my mood up which Charming helps with definitely but some days and especially nights its hard when my mind won’t shut off and thinks of way too much shit and goes to dark places. I have been in two actual cat fights in the last few days. My cat that pisses on the furniture put 6 holes in my left foot last night. The usual attack cat tried to attack my littlest furbaby and I got in the middle of it and got my arm tore up. I went to go see
Charming and get some steak and baked potato for dinner. He was running all over the place and got cussed out by some fat fucker because the restaurant only has one person at night who can run the register and that is Charming. So he has tables all the place the register and making fucking tea. I took him a candied apple and caramel apple my roommate made last night because when we texting last night he said he wanted some apples. We were texting until a little after 1 am and then I got tired so we said goodnight. I really want to pick up after work tonight because I am tired of hanging by myself and we can talk to other with no awkward pauses and
Valient is definitely the strong silent type man of few words. And hardly talking and just making out and having sex isn’t really working for me anymore. I’ve been doing that for too many fucking years.

Can’t sleep !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s 6:17am and I can’t go to sleep I have been up since 8:05am I think. I have taken 15 pills between 9:15am and 11:00pm. 3 Prednisone, 3librax  for my ibs 3 zovirax to prevent cold sores , 2 benadryl for the rash my antibiotic for my bacteria infection in butt cheek caused, 1effexor xr my antidepressant/ headache preventor which does not help with my headaches and 2 trazadones that a sedative to help me sleep. After the first 9 pills I almost passed out at work. Luckily I was sitting in my chair and just got off a call. The room started spinning and I got dizzy and light headed I still had about 2 hours of work left.  Work lasted longer because the fucking calls just kept coming in. So I left about 20 minutes late. I decided to go Charming because as ya’ll know just one look at him makes me smile and feel better. He saw me walk through the door and from the kitchen gave me this I’m watching you gesture that Robert DeNiro gave Ben Stiller in the meet the parents movies. That made me smile.  The hostess was checking someone out so he hollers the corner to walk around the bar and go grab a seat behind the buffet that was his section. So I did and I had a cheesy line worked out to throw at him about i how I wanted something sweet but he was not on the menu. Didn’t get to use though there was people infront and back of us.  I did sit down for a few minutes and talked and then took my order some milk, giant hot chocolate chip cookie with vanilla ice cream on top. He put the order on and took care of the other two tables and a third one came in so his whole section was full. When he went back to the kitchen I heard somebody say they were going rotate sections because he couldn’t sit and talk to me the whole time. Luckily they were kidding because I would of pissed off. Well he is certainly capable of taking care of me and his other 3 tables and still being able to sit briefly and talk to me.  So my dessert was really good and I finished it got my check and he told me to meet him upfront. I sat down upfront waited to take over the register and paid my bill and left him his usual very nice tip. I know he lives on tips like my roommate does and he just had to move to a sketchy part of town with two roommates in a one bedroom apartment and he saving for a .357 gun. So when we do hang out again hopefully this weekend we are chilling at my nice condo in a none scary area because I don’t like downtown.  His boss is being slow with the schedule so we don’t have a plan yet and getting guys to make plan instead of spur of the moment decision is a challenge and frustrating. I mean I still got his favorite beer in the fridge and
American Reunion the lastest american pie movie for about 2 weeks now. Netflix probably thinks I run off with it. So I just need just Charming. He has to pack a backpack with clothes and whatever he is bringing because I am not going to the ghetto especially after 10pm.

Really ?

I went back to work today. The only pain I had was the terrible pain behind my left eye that never seems to go away for long. I feel like I am drowning in fucking inquiries at work and being in a call center I don’t get enough time to work them and then get old and pile up like a mountain of crap on my head. After lunch my head hurt so bad I took 800 mg motrin. I thought I saw some pink spots on my hand but ignored them as the day wore on I notice red spots on both arms and my chest and stomach. I was like what the hell. My regular closes at 5 so I had to go patient first which I dreaded because they took 1 to 2 hours. I haven’t seen Charming since Friday night so I was going to see him red spots and all. Well patient first took about a hour and a half and I was getting so frustrated I almost walked out. Finally a little after 8 doctor comes in and looks at the medicine I have been taking and informs that bactrim the antibiotic I have been taking for over a week to get rid of my bacteria infection in my left butt cheek has something called sulfa and some people are allergic to it but the reaction doesn’t show up until you have been on it for awhile. I am allergic to it because I have red somewhat itchy spots all over my body. So the doctor told me not to take the last bactrim because it make the rash worse. He prescribed prednisone which makes you very hungry and told me take some benadryl. The prednisone is fucking nasty tasting.
So I got to cvs get my medicine and head to go see Charming and the is a left turn to get to the restaurant that is always fucked up. I mean all the other lights turn green twice before this damn thing changes. I get to the restaurant and Charming and most of the night crew are standing outside having a smoke break. Charming says I got 10 minutes until closing. I didn’t know it closed at 9 on Wednesday because it usually closes at 10. He came inside with me and told my order the cook and got me some sweet tea and then went to finish his cigarette. Then he came back him I told him he could box my sandwich and fries. He sat down and we talked for a few minutes. Hopefully we can catch up this weekend to do our beer movie thing but he doesn’t have him schedule yet. He cashed me out and I gave him nice tip and we hugged goodbye. So that is hug number 3.

catch up

Trying to summarize last week a week later is a little but challenging because i have been on a shitload of medication. I got my regular pills, a preventative medicine, mucinex and sudafed and a strong antibiotic because the bacteria infection in my left butt cheek was not completely gone and came back Sunday night it just moved up higher and over to the left two inches. So tried soaking that sunday night to get it to open it and help get the yucky stuff out. Didn’t work, i went to work on Monday and i feel it getting worse as the day went on, it gets more painful and hot. I went to work and worked for about half and hour and then my boss that i needed to go to the doctor because the last time i had this condition it got so bad i missed a week of work. So i went to the doctor  he looked at it , gave me prescription and told me to soak in very hot water. I went back to work . I soaked in super hot water monday and tuesday night and the damn absess got worse and wouldn’t open up so after lunch on wednesday i was like 2 minutes from work and almost started crying from pain and frustration so i turned around and went to the doctor. I told him soaking hadn’t done any good, he looked at it and said no it was getting worse, the skin should have been getting thinner over it but it was getting thicker so he cut it open and got some of the yucky stuff out and put gause and bandaid on it. I called work didn’t go into any detail because it doesn’t matter anyway and it’s gross. I went back home, put on some jammie pants, nice and loose and laid down. I was debating on whether or not i wanted to go to see Charming because he always puts a smile on my face, i decided to wait a few hours and hope they weren’t to busy. Well put i put on some jeans and cute tank top and i almost missed him. He was outside smoking because he had just been cut and had to do a few more things and then he could leave. He gives me a hug as soon as i walk to him so that was great. We got to talk some outfront and then i met two of his best friends that were there to take him for his birthday. I talked to them a little bit until Charming had to go back in the restaurant got busy, always good to get in good with the friends. So he seated me and then took over the cash register for awhile. I ate pretty darn quick and then got to talk to him at the register for a few which is when he agreed we definitely had to redo saturday night since we didn’t get to my house and couldn’t watch a movie and have some beers. I also gave him a little birthday present when i saw him after i got my hug. We texted  a little bit later than night and then on Thursday his actual birthday. I stayed home Thursday because i felt like crap the butt absess, the sinuses and i felt dizzy every time i got up and my head hurt really bad. Friday i went back to work which wasn’t too bad until i sat down wrong and almost screamed. After work i headed to my favorite restaurant where i got seated in what i hoped was Charming’s section. It was me and old people, apartly a wild group of of senior citizens according to Charming when he came back there. I decided to get to get the seafood buffet because it looked good and i like seafood except for fish. Well i got to see Charming a lot because he is very good server and checks on people often. In between checking on the other customers and his other duties he actually sits down with me and talks. After a while the back room is empty except for me, one old couple stiffed him but leaving him a dollar. The group of wild fun older people left him 10, there was two tables in their group so not too bad. He cleans up his section except for my table and asked me to go get another plate with shrimp and oysters and cocktail sauce because he hasn’t eaten all day. So i do that and i left him talk me into dessert because management is pushing them to sell desserts. I have already had two plates of seafood so i am pretty darn full but i try to help him out so i say bring me  dessert and a box so i don’t have to eat it all then. Well since i am his section now, he gets to seat down with me and eat and chat while i try to eat some evil chocolate syrupy cake with ice cream. I am trying to determine what color his eyes are because they look like a combo of a couple colors. Finally i got to ask and he says they’re green. They looked kind of green with some grey or light blue, they are very pretty. So after like an hour and a half i am so full i’m going to return to my pajama pants and he has to go back to work because he’s closing. He also has to pack and move the next day. He’s moving downtown where i haven’t even driven to in the last 7 years and a kind of scary neighborhood. I told him when we hang out after he’s off from work he is going to need to bring a backpack and he can shower and change clothes at my place because i’m scared to go downtown and i cannot parallel park. He said okay. i went home and should have got in the tub and soaked my butt but i was so full all i could do was take off the jeans and put on some sweatpants and lay on my bed. Charming and I texted some more that night, we have almost 600 texts and we’ve only been talking for a month. Later that night i hear someone throwing up right outside my window, turns out to be my roommate. She was visiting her nephew and a kid that was also there was projectile vomiting  and got her nephew, his parents and her sick. I tried to hide in my room away from the germs and told her to help to herself to anything i got in the fridge or pantry that could hold down. Her very sweet boyfriend stayed with her for two and half days taking care of her and keeping her company. Saturday  morning i escaped and went to my Mom’s to flee the germs and get on her computer  to clean out email and work on my blogs. I got more email deleted and moved to folders than blogging and her computer kept getting hot so i had to take a break and actually grabbed a little bottle of water and walked up and down the long drive way until my water ran out. Then when my Mom got home we hung out talking and getting some lunch. I thought about staying the night to work on a sewing project but decided to go home. Saturday night i started feeling kind of sick and the roommate had a tv show on the phone super loud, i have sensitive ears so i don’t blast music and the t.v. is never very loud. I’m feeling queasy and my head is throbbing and i almost went off on her but i did not. I asked nicely to please turn it down. When i can every word some one is saying when i got a movie, two fans on and my door closed it’s too damn loud. So i was trying to have a harry potter marathon, wasn’t hardly paying attention because i felt crappy and got through the first two. I did have a stomach issue for a while, took some imodium ad and went to bed. Sunday morning, i was woke up by a cat barfing in the hallway, can cats catch the flu? I cleaned that up, feed adn water the other cats and went back to bed until about 12:15. I woke up starving because i hadn’t eaten since like 8 the night before, i decided to do a quick sink bath, throw on some perfume and go get some lunch so i could take all my medicine and see Charming. The place was packed, i did get a seat  and i saw him a couple times, he got to smile and wave once and then got to walk over and speak for a minute. I ate my lunch and left because they were crazy busy and he still had two hours left of work. I didn’t want to go home yet, i was still trying to hide from the flu germs and i had given my roommate who was feeling better lysol wipes and asked her nicely to wipe everything down because i’m sure the bathroom was especially scary. I made the mistake of going into to target i was looking for one thing and ended up spending about $70 more dollars than i planned to. I didn’t get some beautiful lavendar converse low top sneakers for about $10 on clearance, they are usually $40. I got a pretty, super soft sweater and two tanks because i love tanks and the first Sherlock Holmes movie with Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law that i have wanted to buy for months. So i came home, house was cleaner, roommate felt better so she went off to work, and her boyfriend left. I decided to spray lysol on every door knob, appliance handle and knob and sinks faucets just in case and then i washed my hair and soaked my butt until my fingers were very pruny. Put on some loose comfy clothes and did a lot of laundry and watched Sherlock Holmes. Charming and i texted some after he was home from work, he did very well on tips from the crazy busy shift. He is moved in to the new place, 3 people in a one bedroom apartment , i don’t know how that is going to work.

I drank a Mountain Dew after 7pm which i should not have done, but dammit i was tired of water . I fixed rice-a roni and a chicken pattie in the microwave for dinner, took all my medicine, drank chamomile tea and my bedtime meds including two sleep aids and could not fall asleep, i kept looking at the clock and i was up until at least 3 or 3:30. I got less than 5 hours of sleep and woke up feeling like hell and was cold and hot at the same time so i called into work and went back to bed until 3:30.